Smaller Goals Made My Life Bigger

When I first heard about Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs), my imagination ran wild. "Dream big," they said. So, I went all in. I fantasized about buying an apartment in Long Island, traveling the world, and living a life so impressive it would make my Facebook friends jealous. But none of them stuck. Sure, I checked off a few boxes, like solo traveling, but after a while, even that felt empty—like I was living someone else’s dream. They were just fantasies.

At one point, I decided to start a company. I thought, This is it! My new BHAG! I’ll make a dent in the universe! But as an introvert, I struggled with constant talking, networking, and endless meetings. Running a startup drained the life out of me. I was exhausted. Always.

At that time, I didn’t realize what was wrong. It was only years and lots of experiments later that I arrived at a surprising truth: BHAG goals didn’t fit me. I had been chasing ambitions because they sounded exciting or socially glamorous, not because they aligned with who I really was. That disconnect feels like wearing shoes two sizes too small. They look great in the mirror, but every step hurts.

So, I took a step back and asked: What do I actually want? Not what looks good to other people. Not what motivational speakers or “hustle culture” tells me I should want. What makes me happy?

The answer surprised me: smaller goals. Goals that fit my quiet, reflective nature. Goals that nurtured my relationships and let me enjoy life’s little pleasures. So I prioritized: building a tight-knit family, investing in stocks (because I'm endlessly fascinated by analyzing companies), and cherishing quality time with loved ones. These aren’t the kinds of goals you’ll see plastered on a vision board, but they brought me joy and fulfillment I'd never felt before.

Let me show you what my life looks like now:

I homeschool my sons. I teach them everything from history to coding to writing, and I watch them bloom with curiosity and excitement. I write—sometimes to wrestle with big ideas that are hard to grasp, and other times to explore emotions buried deep in my heart. I code apps in my spare time to stay in touch with technology that’s changing at a mind-boggling pace. And as a CTO, I find tremendous satisfaction in coaching people, designing enterprise applications, and participating in strategic conversations that shape the future of businesses.

My family is my anchor. We make time to explore the world together—not through long, globe-trotting vacations, but in smaller, more intimate ways. Once a week, we head out as a family to try a new cuisine. Italian, North Indian, Thai—we savor every bite and laugh over silly jokes. These moments aren’t flashy, but they’re some of the richest parts of my life.

I’ve also discovered something surprising: I love meeting people in one-on-one settings. Not big networking events (those still drain me), but quiet, face-to-face conversations in a coffee shop. Just two people, a couple of cappuccinos, and a meaningful exchange of ideas.

And while I don’t miss the chaotic grind of running a startup, I’ve found that investing in stocks gives me the same sense of accomplishment in a way that suits me better. Analyzing companies scratches that itch for strategy and problem-solving, without leaving me socially drained. And I get to implement some of these ideas as a CTO.

My life may not look impressive from the outside. I’m not scaling a unicorn startup or jet-setting to Instagram-worthy destinations. But you know what? My small goals have built a life that feels authentic and joyful to me. Surprisingly, the more I’ve embraced this approach, the more people around me have found it inspiring. They often call me to get my advice to build such a life. Talk about making a dent in the universe.

Here’s the lesson I learned: Goals aren’t “one size fits all.” Grand goals are wonderful — for some people. If you’re a starry-eyed dreamer who thrives on high energy and public success, chase that with all your heart. But if you’re like me—someone who finds happiness in quiet moments, deep relationships, and the thrill of a good book—don’t let society pressure you into thinking small goals are “settling.”

Small goals finely executed, can lead to a big life.